While this production of Assassins couldn't be considered to be a great success (even judged by amateur standards) the train ride to the theatre did produce this little scratching (which couldn't be judged a success either, even by amateur standards, but hey it passed the time):
Wilkes is a nut at the theatre door
His name as I ought to have told you before
Is actually John Wilkes Booth
But that would just milk
Some contrivance so why don't we
Call him just "Wilkes".
His talent's quite shabby
Fantastickly bad
And he's often so crabby
He drives us all mad
And he held in his youth
The most right-wing of views
So he's no longer mentioned
In Playbill reviews
For this isn't the fame
That he hoped he would find
And his name is quite famous
He says... in his mind.
And he says as he corpses
And waits for applause
"Well the country is certainly not what it was.
"And I once shot Abe Lincoln.
"Could do it again...
"Could do it again...
"Could do it again..."